Saturday, October 15, 2011
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I did promise...it's late but here it is!
Oh hey, remember that trip I went on that I said I would blog about at some point? Well here I go. Finally. It's going to be short, but it's at least something!
I felt so grown up going through the airport alone and without my parents right by my side. It even helped that I didn’t even need help finding my terminals or anything. I mean, at 18 you’d think I’d be able to read signs that told you where to go. I probably shouldn’t have felt so proud of myself for that, but I really was proud.
I always get really sentimental on plane rides. Maybe it’s that little sense of freedom I get to feel knowing I’m leaving home, or maybe it’s the fact I’m flying, but I always realize on planes that there is so much more out there in the world that I haven’t been able to see yet. I really want to see it all. I want to be able to travel and see the world. This trip, as I looked down on the passing towns, I wanted more than anything to take a road trip of the Midwest. Just to travel and not be sure where I was going, but be going, would be a dream come true. Because, I’ll admit it, and it won’t be the first time I have, I’m not ready for college yet. I want to discover more before I settle down with a career and life.
But anywho, after not finding our group in LAX for about ten minutes, I connected with everyone, 15 other girls and three ATS instructors, later 4 and we played an epic game of Apples to Apples as we waited for everyone else. I was hoping that the first day we were going to be able to go into the city and see some sites, but instead we just went to our camp site outside Ventura and set up camp. Okay, so here’s the thing. It takes what? A half hour max to set up a tent? Now let’s factor in that we were Girl Scouts. Probably should take us less right? Yea right! It took us, us being three of us, two hours to get our tent up. Laugh now, go ahead. We just couldn’t figure out how it was suppose to go, although looking back, it was really, really easy. After that we were going to go to the beach right next to our camp, but it was blocked off for bird mating. YAY. So we just sat around for the night and ate pizza and chatted.
The cops showed up that night to the people camping next to us yelling “HEY you! Yeah, get over by the motorcycle!” When we woke up in the morning there were beer bottles and food everywhere. The best part the gulls were eating and drinking what was left over. I took pictures.
We got up early this morning to head out to the channel islands on the boat. Taking the tent down was a lot easier than putting it up. And we were ready to go in an hour, showered and all. Luckily we showered that morning because it was going to be our last shower for five days. The boat ride was fun, typical of most boat rides, and when we got to the island we had to hike 3/4ths of a mile to get to our site lugging all of our food and supplies. So after a few trips back and forth and some really nice guys offering us their dolly, we were able to get camp all set up, tents and all.
Every day was pretty much the same. Not that I’m complaining. We hiked a lot. About 33 miles total. The land was really pretty and although the wild life only consisted of earwigs, ravens (which by the second day stole all my snake food), island foxes (Which were the size of a puppy and just simply the cutest things ever), and the sea life, it was simply beautiful. I was always stuck in the back because although I love hiking, I am not fit and so I am really slow. It helped when one of the girls was afraid of heights and just needed a friend there to help her get through it, but it wasn’t so great when we got lost…twice. I mean we weren’t lost lost. Once we lost the path. And took another one that took us maybe an extra half mile past where we could have gone giving us an extra half hour to our hike, but we were still able to find our way back to where we were going. The other time we just were so far behind that we couldn’t see anyone around us at all. We were just hoping that the group was ahead of us. One of the days we actually got to the highest peak on the mountain (Mt. Mountain) which was 1200 above sea level. Every night we would come home, eat rather unsatisfying food, hang out (I would read), and then when it got dark we would play flashlight tag. Probably the worst part was that the ATS instructors were really good at hiding and weren’t afraid to go far off and go anywhere.
We went kayaking one day, which was really cool. We got to go through some sea caves and see some really cool sea creatures like whales and dolphins and even seals. Going through the caves was a lot of fun. I was scared a lot of the time. You couldn’t really get through the caves without cutting your hands on the rocks because you had to push your way through. It was so tight and so dark that sometimes I thought we were going to fall out of the kayak and basically die. Luckily we didn’t. After kayaking nine of us suited up for snorkeling, but despite the fact we were in California, the water was super cold and we just chilled on the beach for an hour before three of us actually went in. We made it over to a rock and waited for the boat leaving with people to head out before we started snorkeling. Too bad, it was about an hour that we waited and by the time we were actually ready to go we were all freezing and just trying to keep our body heat up. We went around the dock once saw some starfish and other cool creatures, and then we went back up to the beach.
We never spent much time in the city site seeing, so I definitely want to go back and check that out. But, after a week on an island where you couldn’t shower or properly brush our hair or use a flushable toilet, I don’t think I am ready to go back to the channel islands just yet. It was a great time, I met some of the most amazing girls in the world and I hope I get to see them again.
Okay, wow. Lame post. Oh well. That was a really quick idea of my trip.
I felt so grown up going through the airport alone and without my parents right by my side. It even helped that I didn’t even need help finding my terminals or anything. I mean, at 18 you’d think I’d be able to read signs that told you where to go. I probably shouldn’t have felt so proud of myself for that, but I really was proud.
I always get really sentimental on plane rides. Maybe it’s that little sense of freedom I get to feel knowing I’m leaving home, or maybe it’s the fact I’m flying, but I always realize on planes that there is so much more out there in the world that I haven’t been able to see yet. I really want to see it all. I want to be able to travel and see the world. This trip, as I looked down on the passing towns, I wanted more than anything to take a road trip of the Midwest. Just to travel and not be sure where I was going, but be going, would be a dream come true. Because, I’ll admit it, and it won’t be the first time I have, I’m not ready for college yet. I want to discover more before I settle down with a career and life.
But anywho, after not finding our group in LAX for about ten minutes, I connected with everyone, 15 other girls and three ATS instructors, later 4 and we played an epic game of Apples to Apples as we waited for everyone else. I was hoping that the first day we were going to be able to go into the city and see some sites, but instead we just went to our camp site outside Ventura and set up camp. Okay, so here’s the thing. It takes what? A half hour max to set up a tent? Now let’s factor in that we were Girl Scouts. Probably should take us less right? Yea right! It took us, us being three of us, two hours to get our tent up. Laugh now, go ahead. We just couldn’t figure out how it was suppose to go, although looking back, it was really, really easy. After that we were going to go to the beach right next to our camp, but it was blocked off for bird mating. YAY. So we just sat around for the night and ate pizza and chatted.
The cops showed up that night to the people camping next to us yelling “HEY you! Yeah, get over by the motorcycle!” When we woke up in the morning there were beer bottles and food everywhere. The best part the gulls were eating and drinking what was left over. I took pictures.
We got up early this morning to head out to the channel islands on the boat. Taking the tent down was a lot easier than putting it up. And we were ready to go in an hour, showered and all. Luckily we showered that morning because it was going to be our last shower for five days. The boat ride was fun, typical of most boat rides, and when we got to the island we had to hike 3/4ths of a mile to get to our site lugging all of our food and supplies. So after a few trips back and forth and some really nice guys offering us their dolly, we were able to get camp all set up, tents and all.
Every day was pretty much the same. Not that I’m complaining. We hiked a lot. About 33 miles total. The land was really pretty and although the wild life only consisted of earwigs, ravens (which by the second day stole all my snake food), island foxes (Which were the size of a puppy and just simply the cutest things ever), and the sea life, it was simply beautiful. I was always stuck in the back because although I love hiking, I am not fit and so I am really slow. It helped when one of the girls was afraid of heights and just needed a friend there to help her get through it, but it wasn’t so great when we got lost…twice. I mean we weren’t lost lost. Once we lost the path. And took another one that took us maybe an extra half mile past where we could have gone giving us an extra half hour to our hike, but we were still able to find our way back to where we were going. The other time we just were so far behind that we couldn’t see anyone around us at all. We were just hoping that the group was ahead of us. One of the days we actually got to the highest peak on the mountain (Mt. Mountain) which was 1200 above sea level. Every night we would come home, eat rather unsatisfying food, hang out (I would read), and then when it got dark we would play flashlight tag. Probably the worst part was that the ATS instructors were really good at hiding and weren’t afraid to go far off and go anywhere.
We went kayaking one day, which was really cool. We got to go through some sea caves and see some really cool sea creatures like whales and dolphins and even seals. Going through the caves was a lot of fun. I was scared a lot of the time. You couldn’t really get through the caves without cutting your hands on the rocks because you had to push your way through. It was so tight and so dark that sometimes I thought we were going to fall out of the kayak and basically die. Luckily we didn’t. After kayaking nine of us suited up for snorkeling, but despite the fact we were in California, the water was super cold and we just chilled on the beach for an hour before three of us actually went in. We made it over to a rock and waited for the boat leaving with people to head out before we started snorkeling. Too bad, it was about an hour that we waited and by the time we were actually ready to go we were all freezing and just trying to keep our body heat up. We went around the dock once saw some starfish and other cool creatures, and then we went back up to the beach.
We never spent much time in the city site seeing, so I definitely want to go back and check that out. But, after a week on an island where you couldn’t shower or properly brush our hair or use a flushable toilet, I don’t think I am ready to go back to the channel islands just yet. It was a great time, I met some of the most amazing girls in the world and I hope I get to see them again.
Okay, wow. Lame post. Oh well. That was a really quick idea of my trip.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
So...Can I rant about work for a few minutes??
I promise I will blog about my trip soon, but while I am on my lunch break I thought I would take the time to rant about how much I could quit my job. I know, I know: If I want to quit why don’t I? Because do you have any idea how hard it is to find a good job that will pay you more than minimum wage and work around your busy as hell college schedule? If you find one let me know, I want it.
So for a little background info, I have been working at the college in the food service area for two years now. I have been doing catering for that long and I have been working in one of the cafeterias, not the one I talked about that burned down, for a year. I really liked my job during the school year. Working 8 hours a week to pick up extra cash is a great sort of thing, but now that I am working full time in the summer, I have never regretted working somewhere so much. I should probably expect the bad treatment considering I am such an outcast there. I mean, one of the supervisors told me one day: “You can’t become a supervisor because you don’t really work here since you weren’t a college student when you did” or something that made more sense than that but was on similar lines. That should have been my first clue that work was going to be hell.
I don’t fit in at a college campus to be perfectly truthful. I’m just going to be a freshman whereas all the other student workers are going to be juniors or seniors. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t go to outrageous parties in my free time. I work hard for my grades and study nonstop. And really, although people say I’m smart- when it comes to work- I’m dumber than a brick. So maybe I am rightfully verbally abused at work, but it doesn’t change the fact that sometimes people shouldn’t say things like they do.
I get told on a daily basis, “Kaitlin, you fuck everything up,” by one of the boys I work with. He insists that he’s only joking, but he says it with no signs of remorse or caring. I sometimes give him crap right back with saying things like “Dan why are you always around? Or Dan you’re such a little girl. Why do you care so much?” But it doesn’t change the fact that he looks down on me mostly because I am so much younger than he is.
I tend to think I am the one getting bitched at for everything at work. If it goes wrong it’s always my fault. Sometimes it is, sometimes I wasn’t even around for it. Like today when there were dirty dishes in with the clean ones, my supervisor tried to blame it on me, but yesterday I hadn’t even stepped foot into the dish room. I got told on multiple accounts that I messed up the pizzas. Between not cutting them right, holding the cutter wrong, and not making enough (although I clearly told my supervisor that I was going to make 8 and she said that was good), I basically got thrown down a million levels. The worst part is that I also got bitched out by a girl who doesn’t even work there. She’s the catering student, not a café worker. Yet she honestly thinks she holds this high and mighty spot and every time she opens her mouth in my direction, she makes me feel less and less like a person. Even today she wasn’t going to let me go on lunch break because she wouldn’t go on hers at the right time. (that’s a sort of complicated situation in itself).
I don’t think it would be so bad if it wasn’t for two things. One is that I am constantly busting my chops to work hard so people can see that I deserve to be a student supervisor. I take 15 minute breaks (our assigned time) while everyone else takes 30-35 minute breaks, I am constantly working until the last minute, but none of it seems to really matter. The other bad thing is that my boss who actually really likes me and asked me to work there, isn’t my boss anymore and I am stuck with my old catering boss who for some reason never liked me quite as much as everyone else. So my chances of ever becoming a student supervisor are shot.
I wish life was simple and I could just quit. This obviously isn’t the right job for me. If it was I would be happy and wouldn’t want to break down halfway into every work day. It’s only a food service job, I definitely won’t be doing that for the rest of my life. I need the money though, every college kid should try to work. Luckily in the fall I am only work one shift, but even that one shift might drive me a little insane after this summer. Maybe a miracle job will come up soon and I will get out of here. Or maybe I just need to learn to grin and bear it. We can’t always be happy can we? All I know that I am physically exhausted and it isn’t from the lack of sleep I had last night, although that may be a factor, it has more to do with the fact that this job wears me out.
Moral of the story? Blogs really help when you want to vent your feelings and no one will listen because no one really cares. Yeah, I think that will be the moral of my story.
So for a little background info, I have been working at the college in the food service area for two years now. I have been doing catering for that long and I have been working in one of the cafeterias, not the one I talked about that burned down, for a year. I really liked my job during the school year. Working 8 hours a week to pick up extra cash is a great sort of thing, but now that I am working full time in the summer, I have never regretted working somewhere so much. I should probably expect the bad treatment considering I am such an outcast there. I mean, one of the supervisors told me one day: “You can’t become a supervisor because you don’t really work here since you weren’t a college student when you did” or something that made more sense than that but was on similar lines. That should have been my first clue that work was going to be hell.
I don’t fit in at a college campus to be perfectly truthful. I’m just going to be a freshman whereas all the other student workers are going to be juniors or seniors. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t go to outrageous parties in my free time. I work hard for my grades and study nonstop. And really, although people say I’m smart- when it comes to work- I’m dumber than a brick. So maybe I am rightfully verbally abused at work, but it doesn’t change the fact that sometimes people shouldn’t say things like they do.
I get told on a daily basis, “Kaitlin, you fuck everything up,” by one of the boys I work with. He insists that he’s only joking, but he says it with no signs of remorse or caring. I sometimes give him crap right back with saying things like “Dan why are you always around? Or Dan you’re such a little girl. Why do you care so much?” But it doesn’t change the fact that he looks down on me mostly because I am so much younger than he is.
I tend to think I am the one getting bitched at for everything at work. If it goes wrong it’s always my fault. Sometimes it is, sometimes I wasn’t even around for it. Like today when there were dirty dishes in with the clean ones, my supervisor tried to blame it on me, but yesterday I hadn’t even stepped foot into the dish room. I got told on multiple accounts that I messed up the pizzas. Between not cutting them right, holding the cutter wrong, and not making enough (although I clearly told my supervisor that I was going to make 8 and she said that was good), I basically got thrown down a million levels. The worst part is that I also got bitched out by a girl who doesn’t even work there. She’s the catering student, not a café worker. Yet she honestly thinks she holds this high and mighty spot and every time she opens her mouth in my direction, she makes me feel less and less like a person. Even today she wasn’t going to let me go on lunch break because she wouldn’t go on hers at the right time. (that’s a sort of complicated situation in itself).
I don’t think it would be so bad if it wasn’t for two things. One is that I am constantly busting my chops to work hard so people can see that I deserve to be a student supervisor. I take 15 minute breaks (our assigned time) while everyone else takes 30-35 minute breaks, I am constantly working until the last minute, but none of it seems to really matter. The other bad thing is that my boss who actually really likes me and asked me to work there, isn’t my boss anymore and I am stuck with my old catering boss who for some reason never liked me quite as much as everyone else. So my chances of ever becoming a student supervisor are shot.
I wish life was simple and I could just quit. This obviously isn’t the right job for me. If it was I would be happy and wouldn’t want to break down halfway into every work day. It’s only a food service job, I definitely won’t be doing that for the rest of my life. I need the money though, every college kid should try to work. Luckily in the fall I am only work one shift, but even that one shift might drive me a little insane after this summer. Maybe a miracle job will come up soon and I will get out of here. Or maybe I just need to learn to grin and bear it. We can’t always be happy can we? All I know that I am physically exhausted and it isn’t from the lack of sleep I had last night, although that may be a factor, it has more to do with the fact that this job wears me out.
Moral of the story? Blogs really help when you want to vent your feelings and no one will listen because no one really cares. Yeah, I think that will be the moral of my story.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Haiku's can be fun
Last Monday was my freshman orientation at my college. We went and listened to them drag on for hours about scheduling and the options we had for classes. Which might have been interesting for some, but for me having already knocked out my first semester thanks to dual enrollment, I had my class schedule already done and I actually really liked it. For that reason, I found the entire orientation rather boring.
For the most part my dad and I just sat around waiting for my meeting with my advisor who is actually going to be my biology teacher as well, but I actually did go to a few of the seminars such as the one where they explained to us about what classes needed to be in our schedules. It was rather pointless and I spent the entire time thinking of the haiku that went something like:
Which got me thinking that I could be just as witty and write something similar as well such as:
Yeah. That’s how bored I was. Which I guess wouldn’t have been such a bad thing if I would have stopped, but I didn’t. I spent the next 45 minutes writing Haikus while this councilor talked to the room of maybe fifty kids about scheduling classes. I thought I would take a little time to write out my process of thinking through the day.
For starters, I should tell you that since it was a generally cold day out Monday and I was in an air conditioned room for the day I didn’t make the best wardrobe choice. I was wearing a tee-shirt and shorts along with I think flip flops, so safe to say after twenty minutes, I was freezing my butt off. Thus this came about:
And
Then I started thinking about Harry Potter because life in general needs to revolve around Harry Potter. =]
First of all, this one can just count for the books, or it can count for the fact that my best friends and I call ourselves the Marauders. (I’m Prongs by the way)
Lame but really hilarious! And then I wrote this one:
If you haven’t realized that I was completely bored yet then let me point out now that I had never been so uninterested in something in my life. My schedule was done, I knew the school already. In fact, you could probably blind fold me and get me around the school. Just don’t give me a map, campus maps are more confusing than they are worth. Considering the tennis fields are marked as the old tennis fields that no one uses and confusing stuff like that, the map is pointless. Anyway, after awhile my foot fell asleep. And my foot never just falls asleep, it hurts when it falls asleep. Of course, a haiku had to come out of that.
I wrote a few more, but they aren’t funny or cute or anything, so the point of sharing those is 0.
Anyway, the day actually was useful for something. I hadn’t scheduled honors English for the fall semester because it was just too messy in my schedule. (Yes honors English. Even though I didn’t take AP English or anything in High School I still believe I was the best damn writer to hit that school, my college English Professor from that Short Stories class even told me I was good). Turns out that Honors English is only offered in the fall and not the spring, so thanks to my advisor being more knowledgeable than any advisor I have ever had before, I was able to fix my schedule so it would look unfun, unmanageable, but not busy.
Basically I go from Bio at eight in the morning right to Honor Chemistry right to Calculus 2 and then after an hour break to Honors English….and then I am done Mondays and Fridays. Wednesday my schedule is like that but I have a two hour bio lab/freshman seminar. Then Tuesday I don’t have class until 4 which is just a scholarship class where we have no work and just do “fun” activities. Thursdays I have one morning class and then chem lab basically all days and then Tuesdays and Thursdays I take Karate. It’s really not that bad, and congrats now you can stalk me everywhere I go. Ahahaha. I have to find time to throw work in there somewhere, but I am sure that won’t be too bad. Hey who knows, maybe there will actually be time for me to write blogs and maybe finally start that vloging channel I have been meaning to. (Funny story about that. I went to edit a vlog and it crashed my entire computer. Yea good times, good times). Then again, it’s summer, I’m supposed to have a lot of time to blog, but between working two jobs and having a crazy social life, things don’t ever seem to work out my way.
Well tomorrow morning bright and early I leave for my BYOF camping trip outside of L.A. I know that I wasn’t too excited before, and believe me, I still don’t want to wear a wetsuit, but I think that things are going to be great. It will be an awesome experience, and to be honest I have more to worry about with my trip than looking bad. (bonus points if you can figure out what this means “I am turning into a werewolf and can’t use wolfsbane” Awkward but totally true. Sorry). I should probably hit the hay because I need to be up at 5 in the morning to head two hours away to catch my flight. I will have lots of awesome things to blog about when I come back! YAY!
For the most part my dad and I just sat around waiting for my meeting with my advisor who is actually going to be my biology teacher as well, but I actually did go to a few of the seminars such as the one where they explained to us about what classes needed to be in our schedules. It was rather pointless and I spent the entire time thinking of the haiku that went something like:
Haiku’s can be fun
But sometimes are hard to write
Refrigerator
Which got me thinking that I could be just as witty and write something similar as well such as:
Haiku’s don’t make sense
And so they are hard to write
Refrigerator
Yeah. That’s how bored I was. Which I guess wouldn’t have been such a bad thing if I would have stopped, but I didn’t. I spent the next 45 minutes writing Haikus while this councilor talked to the room of maybe fifty kids about scheduling classes. I thought I would take a little time to write out my process of thinking through the day.
For starters, I should tell you that since it was a generally cold day out Monday and I was in an air conditioned room for the day I didn’t make the best wardrobe choice. I was wearing a tee-shirt and shorts along with I think flip flops, so safe to say after twenty minutes, I was freezing my butt off. Thus this came about:
My schedule is done
And now I am very cold
Get me out of here
And
I am very cold
Why didn’t I bring a jacket?
Stupid stupid me
Then I started thinking about Harry Potter because life in general needs to revolve around Harry Potter. =]
First of all, this one can just count for the books, or it can count for the fact that my best friends and I call ourselves the Marauders. (I’m Prongs by the way)
Padfoot, Prongs, Moony
They are the cool Marauders
Wormtail doesn’t count
Lame but really hilarious! And then I wrote this one:
Dear Luna Lovegood
I believe that you are weird
Love Harry Potter
If you haven’t realized that I was completely bored yet then let me point out now that I had never been so uninterested in something in my life. My schedule was done, I knew the school already. In fact, you could probably blind fold me and get me around the school. Just don’t give me a map, campus maps are more confusing than they are worth. Considering the tennis fields are marked as the old tennis fields that no one uses and confusing stuff like that, the map is pointless. Anyway, after awhile my foot fell asleep. And my foot never just falls asleep, it hurts when it falls asleep. Of course, a haiku had to come out of that.
My foot is asleep
so it must have been sleepy
it hurts, wake up please
I wrote a few more, but they aren’t funny or cute or anything, so the point of sharing those is 0.
Anyway, the day actually was useful for something. I hadn’t scheduled honors English for the fall semester because it was just too messy in my schedule. (Yes honors English. Even though I didn’t take AP English or anything in High School I still believe I was the best damn writer to hit that school, my college English Professor from that Short Stories class even told me I was good). Turns out that Honors English is only offered in the fall and not the spring, so thanks to my advisor being more knowledgeable than any advisor I have ever had before, I was able to fix my schedule so it would look unfun, unmanageable, but not busy.
Basically I go from Bio at eight in the morning right to Honor Chemistry right to Calculus 2 and then after an hour break to Honors English….and then I am done Mondays and Fridays. Wednesday my schedule is like that but I have a two hour bio lab/freshman seminar. Then Tuesday I don’t have class until 4 which is just a scholarship class where we have no work and just do “fun” activities. Thursdays I have one morning class and then chem lab basically all days and then Tuesdays and Thursdays I take Karate. It’s really not that bad, and congrats now you can stalk me everywhere I go. Ahahaha. I have to find time to throw work in there somewhere, but I am sure that won’t be too bad. Hey who knows, maybe there will actually be time for me to write blogs and maybe finally start that vloging channel I have been meaning to. (Funny story about that. I went to edit a vlog and it crashed my entire computer. Yea good times, good times). Then again, it’s summer, I’m supposed to have a lot of time to blog, but between working two jobs and having a crazy social life, things don’t ever seem to work out my way.
Well tomorrow morning bright and early I leave for my BYOF camping trip outside of L.A. I know that I wasn’t too excited before, and believe me, I still don’t want to wear a wetsuit, but I think that things are going to be great. It will be an awesome experience, and to be honest I have more to worry about with my trip than looking bad. (bonus points if you can figure out what this means “I am turning into a werewolf and can’t use wolfsbane” Awkward but totally true. Sorry). I should probably hit the hay because I need to be up at 5 in the morning to head two hours away to catch my flight. I will have lots of awesome things to blog about when I come back! YAY!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
When life becomes bipolar.
I could sit here and let you know all the deep thoughts that are going through my head at this graduation practice, but really, I'm not thinking of any of that stuff. I am thinking about how bipolar all things in life seem. My lineup for graduation has changed at least four times making being ranked second in my class worthless to be frank. It kind of depresses me instead of frustrating me like it should. It's really just dumb. But it seems like all of life is bipolar now.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Script Frenzy Done
That deserves a blog post of it's own.
Oh, and I passed my Senior Presentation. I had fun doing it, oddly enough, I have to write a memo about something or another, so fun.
Oh, and I passed my Senior Presentation. I had fun doing it, oddly enough, I have to write a memo about something or another, so fun.
Monday, April 26, 2010
The biggest Mistake of My Life
Taking the English class entitled The Short Story at the tender age of 18 was probably the biggest mistake of my life. No make that WAS the biggest mistake in my life, no probably about it. Not that I didn’t at points enjoy the class and at points do well, I mean I got a 93% on my last paper which was really awesome to be honest, but I realize now at the age of 18, I wasn’t ready for a class like that.
I’m still in high school. I’m still learning what’s right and wrong in the world, what’s good and bad, and what my limits are. I’m not a good writer, I know that from the start, yet something compelled me to take a 100 level English class without ever having taken Freshman English. I admit that I enjoyed the class at times. It was a different atmosphere from the normal lecture sort of class. We actually had open discussions about the short stories we would read and we would openly talk about what we thought. My Professor insisted that there was no such thing as a wrong interpretation of the story, and for the longest time, I believed him.
Things were going great at first, but as the class went on I came to realize that I was far too young and far too fragile hearted for such a class. I would read the stories, gather my opinions, and go to class excited about what I had to say. Yet it seemed that everything I had to say about these stories we would read got shot down by my Professor as meaningless and irrelevant. I seemed to be the one who misinterpreted the stories the naïve one who had no idea what she was really talking about.
I’m young. I’m still discovering the world, so being shot down isn’t what I would consider to be exactly pleasant. In fact, most of the time it sent me into a state of complete depression. I felt so dumb all the time. I was afraid to open my mouth in class because I was afraid that I would say something that my Professor disagreed with. For the first time in a college class I was in, I felt young. I still felt like a high school kid trying to fit into a college community. With my calc class I’m at the top of the class, I feel like a college student there. But in my English class, there I felt like a senior in high school. A girl who couldn’t gather her thoughts the right way, the girl who thought that there was a right way to gather thoughts. I felt small, smaller than I had ever felt before, and it was like that every Monday and Tuesday.
It took a toll after sometime and I really couldn’t think for myself. If I did I was wrong and if I didn’t I was safe because I knew that someone else somewhere felt the same way. I look all the stories up online to make sure that my ideas matched someone else’s, and only then did I open my mouth.
That’s why I am having such trouble with my final paper. There’s no help for me out there. I can’t find notes for the story my paper is on out there and we aren’t having a class discussion so I can’t steal anyone else’s ideas.
Basically, I feel like taking that class was the biggest mistake in my young high school career. I wasn’t ready for that world. I wasn’t ready to be thrown into a classroom with adults who knew what they were thinking and who know the world for what it is. I’m too young, and I’m too naïve.
In other news, I have nine pages of my script left to write by Friday. It’s the worst little script that I’ve written and I can’t wait to trash it and move back onto writing my NaNoWriMo which is still only 70,000 words and 93 pages and only about 2/3 the way done. It needs a lot of work and I just can’t wait to get back to it.
Tomorrow is my Senior Presentation which determines if I graduate High School. I’m more stressed out than words can say and I can’t wait to get it out of my way. I spent over an hour today trying to print out my power point because I couldn’t get a printer anywhere to work for me. My mother and I, who used to be really close but hardly get along any longer, are once again at each other’s throats because of this. I went to her office to print my power point but her printer wasn’t working. Thus I called to see if it was something I was doing and she proceeded to yell at me about it so I hung up on her. Okay, so yea, there’s another wonderful example of how I can’t seem to grow up, but that’s that.
Part of me wants to fail tomorrow. Just to fail. I don’t know, it would just ice the top of my wonderful cake so perfectly. I have to write a memo if I pass. I don’t know what the memo has to be about, and I don’t know how to write a memo. I think it’s more effort to pass than it is to just fail and represent some other time. Then again if I fail I have to write a memo too. What’s with the world and memos. Can’t I just write a blog about it instead? Oh wait, we’ve all seen how well I am at that.
Alright, well I was just complaining to my parents how stressed I was so I probably shouldn’t be sitting here writing this blog post. Guess I’ll be heading off to do some scripting before working on my presentation. The end.
I’m still in high school. I’m still learning what’s right and wrong in the world, what’s good and bad, and what my limits are. I’m not a good writer, I know that from the start, yet something compelled me to take a 100 level English class without ever having taken Freshman English. I admit that I enjoyed the class at times. It was a different atmosphere from the normal lecture sort of class. We actually had open discussions about the short stories we would read and we would openly talk about what we thought. My Professor insisted that there was no such thing as a wrong interpretation of the story, and for the longest time, I believed him.
Things were going great at first, but as the class went on I came to realize that I was far too young and far too fragile hearted for such a class. I would read the stories, gather my opinions, and go to class excited about what I had to say. Yet it seemed that everything I had to say about these stories we would read got shot down by my Professor as meaningless and irrelevant. I seemed to be the one who misinterpreted the stories the naïve one who had no idea what she was really talking about.
I’m young. I’m still discovering the world, so being shot down isn’t what I would consider to be exactly pleasant. In fact, most of the time it sent me into a state of complete depression. I felt so dumb all the time. I was afraid to open my mouth in class because I was afraid that I would say something that my Professor disagreed with. For the first time in a college class I was in, I felt young. I still felt like a high school kid trying to fit into a college community. With my calc class I’m at the top of the class, I feel like a college student there. But in my English class, there I felt like a senior in high school. A girl who couldn’t gather her thoughts the right way, the girl who thought that there was a right way to gather thoughts. I felt small, smaller than I had ever felt before, and it was like that every Monday and Tuesday.
It took a toll after sometime and I really couldn’t think for myself. If I did I was wrong and if I didn’t I was safe because I knew that someone else somewhere felt the same way. I look all the stories up online to make sure that my ideas matched someone else’s, and only then did I open my mouth.
That’s why I am having such trouble with my final paper. There’s no help for me out there. I can’t find notes for the story my paper is on out there and we aren’t having a class discussion so I can’t steal anyone else’s ideas.
Basically, I feel like taking that class was the biggest mistake in my young high school career. I wasn’t ready for that world. I wasn’t ready to be thrown into a classroom with adults who knew what they were thinking and who know the world for what it is. I’m too young, and I’m too naïve.
In other news, I have nine pages of my script left to write by Friday. It’s the worst little script that I’ve written and I can’t wait to trash it and move back onto writing my NaNoWriMo which is still only 70,000 words and 93 pages and only about 2/3 the way done. It needs a lot of work and I just can’t wait to get back to it.
Tomorrow is my Senior Presentation which determines if I graduate High School. I’m more stressed out than words can say and I can’t wait to get it out of my way. I spent over an hour today trying to print out my power point because I couldn’t get a printer anywhere to work for me. My mother and I, who used to be really close but hardly get along any longer, are once again at each other’s throats because of this. I went to her office to print my power point but her printer wasn’t working. Thus I called to see if it was something I was doing and she proceeded to yell at me about it so I hung up on her. Okay, so yea, there’s another wonderful example of how I can’t seem to grow up, but that’s that.
Part of me wants to fail tomorrow. Just to fail. I don’t know, it would just ice the top of my wonderful cake so perfectly. I have to write a memo if I pass. I don’t know what the memo has to be about, and I don’t know how to write a memo. I think it’s more effort to pass than it is to just fail and represent some other time. Then again if I fail I have to write a memo too. What’s with the world and memos. Can’t I just write a blog about it instead? Oh wait, we’ve all seen how well I am at that.
Alright, well I was just complaining to my parents how stressed I was so I probably shouldn’t be sitting here writing this blog post. Guess I’ll be heading off to do some scripting before working on my presentation. The end.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)